Unlucky hurts.

I’ve been dreading this post for the last week.

But we needed time to process what we were going through. My stomach has been in knots worrying if someone is going to ask how the cycle ended. I’ve been avoiding eye contact with people who are only concerned. I’ve been staying busy and keeping to myself. I wasn’t ready to share and I’m still not ready to talk about it. I now know why so many people hide their infertility. It hurts to admit when it fails.

That’s right. Our IVF failed. We have no answers. It just simply failed. We were the unlucky ones and being unlucky hurts.

This is changing who I am. I’ve always been honest with my emotions. I wear my heart on my sleeve. Not anymore. I have to teach myself to be strong. I have to keep trying. Because feeling the disappointment and admitting that I’m scared is more than I can handle. I am more comfortable pretending that I’m okay.

We have had so many people interested in our story and we are so grateful for that.  We cannot thank the people enough who have sent us messages, read the blogs, and donated. The support and kindness has helped us tremendously.

This isn’t the end for us and the IVF wasn’t a total failure. We have four frozen embryos that want to make my uterus their home. We just have to find a way to make it a cozy and welcoming place.

We aren’t sure what is next for us or when we will be ready for it. So for now keep us in your thoughts and send us your luck!